Killer Kites (2023)

Killer Kites (2023) MOVIE DETAILS
Name: Killer Kites
Year: 2023
Country: USA
Director: Paul Dale and Austin Frosch
Main cast: Manon Pages, Austin Naulty, Carter Simoneaux
Runtime: 72 minutes
Production company: By The Horns


It is evident that a movie like Killer Kites (2023) is made as a joke, and one shouldn’t take it very seriously. From the plot, the official poster, the headline, the tone in the synopsis… everything points to a caricature of the genre. Which is something totally licit, I am in most of the times, if one can’t laugh at himself then what is out there to laugh about? But that is not an excuse for a product with such low quality.

The image, audio track, story, screenplay, acting, special effects, music score, directing, editing… every single aspect that embraces filmmaking is a flaw. Killer Kites (2023) can be put in the same box with some of the most horrible movies I have ever witnessed, sharing the honor with Glenn Danzig’s insult to motion pictures Verotika (2019) [read our review here] or Suzanne DeLaurentiisMutant Man (1996), which I still think it is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

The only thing that excuses the existence of Killer Kites (2023) is that it is made as an absolute absurd divertimento. I doubt not one single person in the production, neither in the cast nor the crew, took their job very seriously. And the screenplay is plagued with silly jokes, some of them even decent and funny enough, but what can you do when the film’s audio is so bad that you are having a really hard time following the dialog due to the poor quality of the sound? Perhaps dubbing the whole soundtrack in a proper recording studio would have been a good move and would have helped as an attempt to dignify Killer Kites (2023). But I can imagine that differs from the filmmakers’ idea of working with a zero-budget and delivering a crude and raw experience.

Because I assume that is what they tried, but if the people responsible for this title had the expectations, even for one tiny second, of delivering a professional work I am afraid they failed big time.

In terms of the story, in Killer Kites (2023) we have a bunch of kites that are murdering people non-stop and a group of people on a mission to stop them. A group of weirdos, of course. Using bread as bait, mysterious people with mysterious origins, or some other unexplainable facts, the story seems to try to take the path of surreal enigmatic experiences like the Twin Peaks (1990–1991) TV series, but the results are closer to a parody than a homage.

Here you have a bunch of reasons not to watch Killer Kites (2023). But, on the other side, here you have a bunch of reasons to jump right on your couch and search for the movie, available already on demand platforms like Amazon Prime Video, and have a weird low-fi experience for a little longer than 1 hour. Because Killer Kites (2023), “not the scariest movie… but it’s up there”, as reads the film headline, is definitely one of those titles that you must know what you are watching. I would recommend it to some of my friends who, like me, can enjoy a screening of utter junk and have a good time. But, without a doubt, not for everyone.

You are warned. Now, choose wisely. And go watch Killer Kites (2023).

RATE: 2/10